unsolicited advice

A collection of unsolicited advice. Some I learned the hard way. Some I found and agreed with.

still updating

on people

• Some will expect you to be quiet to keep their peace.
• People who obsess over you initially are in love with an idea, not you. They don’t know the real you.
• Those that want to live, are made to suffer; and those that want to die, are forced to go on living.
• The weak fear the truth and resent those who speak it.
• What people became isn’t what they wanted but who they have to be.
• Self-obsession is tolerable. Forcing it on others is repulsive. This applies to everything - looks, morals, relationships, choices.
• People cannot give you what they don’t have.
• Some relish others’ moral failings to entertain their own judgement, eagerly anticipating their downfall.
• If problems only occur with certain people, it’s them. Not you.
• They despise you for what you possess and mock you for what you lack. They look down on you when you’re poor and fear you when you’re rich.
• People who seem to be the kindest are the most dangerous.
• People often choose popular actions not because they believe it’s the right thing to do, but because it’s the option that makes them feel secure.
• Sincerity and pretense, nobility and meanness, hatred and love can coexist. It is no imperfection, merely a reaction in a world full of greys.
• The quickest way to know somebody is to lend them money.
• No friend’s presence should bother you more than your solitude.
• Disguised small talks is rarely genuine concern. They’re just probing to ensure you are not outpacing them.
• Promptness is a sign of respect.
• Perseverance does not equal worthiness.
• Don’t let the disrespect of those you lowered your standards for get under your skin.
• Sometimes people need to be understood more than to be loved.

on yourself

• Your wounds might be the result of your kindness.
• Self pity and excuses are lazy.
• Your lowest points are yours alone. Others can’t see them, especially if they want something from you.
• Decisions will upset you or others. Accept it. It won’t change.
• Some paths are meant to walk alone because it’s personal.
• Solitude feels uneasy when you overvalue others’ presence.
• Self-esteem in love is only selfishness.
• If you need peace, you need to let go.
• Let jealousy teach you gratitude, anger for compassion, the uncontrollable for letting go, annoyance for patience.
• No apology should be made for wrong being, such as anger or confusion. 3
• Your loyalty is not to be questioned if your well being is already affected.
• Your healing cannot depend on someone that doesn’t understand their wrongdoing. If staying means undervaluing yourself, you should move on.
• Don’t burn yourself out trying to light the way for others.
• Opinions of others are for understanding different perspectives; they don’t have to influence yours.

on things around you

• Life can be challenging despite our best efforts. It’s not your fault for trying and sometimes falling short.
• Sex is a physical act. Love is a collection of ideals. Marriage is a social contract.
• It feels the most difficult only when you start.
• If experience is overrated, you should snip your appendix on your own.
• It’s better knowing that something might not succeed tomorrow than next year.
• Thousands to bully one is called justice.
• All worship masks underlying desires.
• Suspicion is often the precursor to a guilty verdict.
• Expectation is the precursor of disappointment.
• Most people are transient. Move on without lingering.
• Behind obstacles and fears often lie what you need.
• The most successful relationships are based on lies.
• The right words are often simple.
• There are beautiful songs but some people just don’t like music.
• All claims lacking falsifiable evidence are opinions, not facts. Normalizing opinions as facts is the fastest route to misinformation. This includes seemingly benign daily conversations.
• May what you care about gives you more of what you need, not less.
• Your circle should be proud of you, not jealous.
• When someone is rude, hateful, or mean, imagine they’re suffering from an illness.
• Find smart people who will disagree with you.
• Anyone can be replaced. To replace a bad person, it would have already cost many good ones.
• Fixation on vanity is unattractive.

what you should do

• Be good, be excellent, be bold, but don’t waste your time proving it.
• No matter how destructive your rage feels, you’re just one person out of many.
• Learn how to do nothing and be bored.
• Avoid sarcastic remarks, not because people aren’t funny enough to understand.
• Choose your most frequent encounters wisely, such as your shoes, your bed, your best friends, and your job.
• Emotional wounds hurt most when inflicted by those we trust. The only right course is to learn how to regain your sense of control.
• No explanation is needed for people you don’t need in your life.
• If you need to beat yourself up, do it once and move on.
• Only hang out with people that energize you.
• Master fake sincerity. Everything else falls into place.
• Apologize immediately, genuinely, explicitly.
• Be grateful to those who helped you to be the person you are today.
• Sometimes you need to do things you don’t enjoy to get close to what you do.
• Don’t romanticize memories. Remember the disrespect that came with them.
• Manage your energy for the worthwhile.
• Do the most important task first.
• Win or lose, be a good one anyway.
• Keep your true light hidden from acquaintances, even relatives and friends.
• In a fight, hit first and hit hard.
• Accept an outstretched hand and turn your back on a withdrawn one.
• Sincerity and honesty are expensive. Reserve them for those who deserve them.
• Don’t try to change people, change how you deal with them instead.
• Learn to react less.
• Don’t promise and agree when you’re having a good time.